Having children can often make many people feel that their lives are more fulfilled. These children are often born into families with married parents, and they become a loving unit. Of course, as you know, not every unit remains as loving, and you may find yourself considering divorce.
Though you may no longer find your relationship happy and could even consider it unhealthy, you wonder whether divorce is the right answer due to how it could affect your kids. Certainly, divorce can have major impacts on children, but staying together just for the kids may not be as beneficial as you would hope.
When asking yourself this type of question, you may want to consider your own well-being. As a parent, you always put your children first, but when you think about staying in an unhappy marriage for their sake, you may want to truly look into what that means for yourself. It could mean living unhappily for years, which can take more of a toll on a person than you might think.
Still, if you want to give staying together despite your problems a chance, you may want to consider the following factors:
- The parental relationship: Some marriages end due to unhappiness and a lack of closeness, and others end because parents simply cannot get along anymore. If you and the other parent cannot get along, it may not help the kids to stay in a potentially hostile environment.
- Abuse: Any time abuse is present, it is important to remove the children from the situation. Staying in an abusive relationship or one in which the kids are abused will likely not help anyone.
- Reconciling: If you believe that you and your spouse can realistically work through the marital issues you face, you may have a strong chance of staying together. However, it is important that both parties are willing to work on the problems.
In the end, if you do decide to end the marriage, you can take the time to make the situation the least stressful on the kids as possible. If you and your spouse can still treat each other in a friendly manner, you may have the ability to move through the divorce process quickly and without unnecessary conflict. Because child custody will undoubtedly be an important factor in your case, you may find it useful to obtain reliable information on how Virginia courts address such proceedings.